


Out of Denial in five easy steps

by luxshine



Category: NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-20
Updated: 2011-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxshine/pseuds/luxshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Funny how some things happen without you realizing them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Denial in five easy steps

**Author's Note:**

> his was written for KittieC’s Tee-shirt challenge, way, way back then. It’s one of the very few challenges I’ve participated in, and I have no idea why I never posted this in my own lj since it’s been up at her site since I wrote it. So here it is. The prompt for the fics was to chose one t-shirt saying. Me, being incapable of choosing just one, picked up five: 6. To save time, let's just assume I know everything, 21. I am not in denial., 22. I know I came in this room for a reason. 23. Please go fascinate someone else!, 31. Your lips keep moving, but all I hear is "Blah, blah, blah...." Hope you enjoy the fic. Oh, and since this was back when I was a lurker, unbetaed, but fixed from the original version with all the things that Jewelianna, Evilshelly, Pensnest and Otherdeb have taught me about proper grammar.

1\. Please go fascinate someone else!

Joey watched in silence as Chris was attempting to call Justin's attention, to no avail.  
It didn't use to be this way. Back in Europe, back when everything had begun, Justin and Chris were best friends, and Chris only had to say "Yo, Justin!" and Justin would be at his side.

(Of course, the opposite was also true, and more than once Joey had complained to JC, his best friend of that time, that Justin had Chris wrapped around his finger.)

But things had changed. Somewhere between everyone getting older, No Strings Attached, the legal problems and of course, fucking Stardom with a capital S, the dynamics of the group had changed. Joey no longer went immediately to JC with his problems, but to Lance. Lance, who had started as the outsider of the group, was now practically the center, as he was always on top of everything. JC had become Justin's best friend in the group, but Justin had many other friends outside the group. Britney, Wade, even Nick Carter no matter what the media said about that.

Which left Chris alone.

Not that the other guys weren't his friends, of course. Justin would still go and play hoops with Chris, Joey and JC would go and eat a pizza togheter, Lance would invite them all over to his new place (Wherever that new place happened to be). But it wasn't like before.

"Dammint, Chris, go and pester JC or someone else, will you?"

Before, Joey mused a little depressed, Justin would have never dismissed Chris like that. And in the off chance he did, he wouldn't have missed Chris's hurt expression.

2\. Your lips keep moving, but all I hear is "Blah, blah, blah...."

"...six months!"

"Huh?" Joey turned his attention back to JC’s voice, confused. He had been thinking about Chris's expression when he had finally given up on calling Justin's attention all week, and thus hadn't heard a word of what JC was telling him over the phone. But he couldn't admit that "Six months, huh?"

"It might be even more," JC answered, and Joey could hear that whatever the subject was, had JC very upset.

"Why?" Joey answered, hoping like hell that JC would explain again whatever it was that was having him so near hysterics. But as JC started to talk, his mind went back to Chris. He seemed really exited that day, as he had almost begged -almost, because Chris didn't beg Justin to go to his house, because he had something he needed to show him. What it was, he didn't know. No one knew because Chris had never touched the subject again.  
Only, it was obvious it was important to Chris.

"...could explode!!"

"I... I don't think that will happen, C," Joey said, cautiously. Whatever it was eating JC, it was big. He really needed to pay more attention to what his friend was saying. "I mean... there are ways to stop that, right?"

And thank god for non-descriptive answers.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. And, you know, six months isn't such a long time. It'll be over before you know it," Joey said, at the same time he noticed his answering machine was flashing.

"You think I'm exaggerating, don't you?" JC said, but before Joey could answer he continued. "It's just... I would have never imagined Lance would actually try to go to space..."

Joey stared at the phone, not knowing what to say.

Lance was going to outer space?!

3\. I know I came in this room for a reason.

Chris's house was empty, but that was not a problem for Joey because he had a key.  
So he let himself in, without thinking really, because he had such wonderful news to share with Chris.

It wasn't until after two hours had passed and there was no Chris at home yet when he wondered why he was there.  
Sure, he wanted to share with someone the fact that he had gotten a role on Rent, even if it wasn't the one he had originally auditioned for... But if he wanted to share them with someone at random, why he was waiting for Chris when JC, Justin... even Kelly were just a phone call away?

Shit, he hadn't even called his mom.

So why was he there, sitting on Chris's couch, watching Chris's TV, and waiting for Chris to get home?

He really didn't know.

But he didn't want to go.

4\. To save time, let's just assume I know everything.

Lance had been depressed ever since returning from Russia, so Joey tried to be near his friend in case Lance needed him.

However, Lance seemed to have different plans and it took them two months before they could hang together without the others, their families or some important that would need immediate action.

"So... Did you tell Chris what you feel for him?" Lance asked, while Joey was putting a CD on the five disks player that he had bought just two months ago. The question, delivered in the same casual tone that Lance used to ask him for a glass of Coke, made him drop the disk to the floor.

"What?!"

"My guess is no, since he's not here...." Lance continued, as if he was talking about the weather and not about Joey's supposed feelings for Chris. "Why haven't you?"

"What feelings for Chris?" Joey asked, trying not to notice that his throat felt constricted and that his voice sounded impossibly high.

Lance only stared at him, his green eyes piercing into Joey's. "You love him," Lance stated. "It's obvious."

"I don't love Chris!" The defense came to his lips immediately, He was not gay, he liked women. Big women, with big breasts and parts that Chris definitively didn't had. Even if he liked to see Chris smile. Even if he hated to see Chris sad. Even if he couldn't really say why he didn't love Chris. "I... don't..."

"Fair enough," Lance agreed. "It's obvious for anyone but you." And then, looking at Joey's shocked face he added, smiling. "And maybe him."

5\. I am not in denial.

It took Joey five more months to gather courage to go to Chris's doorstep again.

It wasn't that he was ignoring Chris, or actively avoiding him. He was busy. Broadway, producing, being a dad, singing.... All those things took a lot of time, and so, Joey couldn't find the time to go to Chris's house just to hang.

Or so he told himself the first month.

The second month, however, was spent trying to convince Lance that he was wrong, that he didn't love Chris. Those long phone calls were fruitless because they always end up with Lance saying "Whatever you say, Joey, whatever you say." And Joey could see him smiling in his mind eye, with that annoying little smile that Joey knew meant Lance knew something you didn't.

By the time the third month started, he was busy convincing himself that Lance was wrong. He couldn't love Chris, and there were many reasons for that. Chris was male. Chris was his best friend, and you didn't fuck with friendship... Chris was....

Okay. So there weren't many reasons. He had only managed to find two. Because every single other possible reason that occurred to him (He's annoying, he's hyperactive, he's too loud, he's too happy) always ended up with him thinking that that was what made Chris being Chris, and he wouldn't want to change that.

In a way, by the time the third month ended, it seemed that he was looking for reasons why Lance could be right.

Only, Lance wasn't right. He didn't love his best friend.

Fourth month was a little bit of a change, because it was when the troubles at Jive began again. With the news that Justin was going to release a second solo album, the dreadful feeling that maybe, just maybe, *N Sync was over returned to his stomach. He hated that feeling, especially because this time, not even Lance could tell him that he was being paranoid.

They all were. Except maybe JC, but JC had again become the eternal optimist of the group, and it seemed that nothing could be wrong in _his_ world.

Still, he didn't cross paths with Chris much that month. And, truth to be told, it was a little bit because every time he saw Chris's face—in person, or in photographs—he remembered Lance's words.

Fifth month... Fifth month was hard for Joey. Not because the feeling of doom, although it had never left him. Not even because he remembered quite well his conversation with Lance, and his mind refused to give him hope that Lance was wrong. It was a no-win situation, because the more he thought of how to prove Lance that he was wrong, the more he convinced himself that perhaps he wasn't wrong.

It all came to an end when he was editing what might or might not be the second The Reel *N Sync movie. When he watched Chris, freshly out of his break up with Danielle, playing with Busta and Korea in the floor of Justin's house. In that few seconds, when Chris turned to say something to Justin and Justin didn't answer, Joey knew he was wrong and Lance was right.

Because that short image reminded him of another day, years ago, when his chest had tighten painfully because Chris was being ignored by Justin.

"Oh. Shit." He had said to the empty room, and started to cry.

To his credit, he didn't go right then to Chris's house. He waited for another week, in which he weighed the cons and the pros to actually tell Chris about his little epiphany. He knew Chris wouldn't stop talking to him because he had found he was flexible in his preferences. After all, Chris hadn't stopped talking to Wade. And he wasn't going to dwell on his feelings for long, because he knew that he was prone to get high hopes. He preferred to tell Chris, hear that Chris didn't love him, and let it be the end of it.

Only that, truth to be told, he didn't want to hear that Chris didn't love him.

So there he was, standing in front of Chris's door, too afraid of knocking.

As he debated again on the wisdom of his actions, the door opened to reveal a freshly awakened Chris, wearing his boxers and a rumpled t-shirt. It was then when Joey knew he was gone to the deep end. He was finding Chris sexy, just as he was right then, his eyes still half-clouded with sleep.

"Joe?" Chris asked, surprised.

"I'm not in denial," Joey stated clearly. He had the whole speech practiced in his head, but standing in front of Chris, the actual order of the words was not in his memory. "No matter what Lance might tell you, I am not."

"Oh..." Chris didn't look very convinced. "Okay."

"I came here to tell you that. It took me a while, and I know you are not going to particularly like this... but I can't keep it a secret. I want you to know," Joey continued, not pausing because he didn't want to loose his nerve.

"You want me to know that you're not in denial?" Chris was still confused, and Joey knew he had started wrong, but he didn't know how to fix it.

"Can I come in?"

Chris smiled at that, looking less and less asleep. Joey smiled too, and stepped in.

Because when he saw Chris's smile, a smile full of trust, even when Chris was half asleep, and totally confused, he remembered something that in his nervousness, his denial, and his fear, he had forgotten.

Chris was his best friend.

And everything was going to be all right, no matter what.


End file.
